Is Your Addiction to Work Ruining Your Relationships?
When you are a high achiever, it’s natural to become hyper focused on your successes and the work it takes to achieve them.
But what happens when that hyper focus crosses the line into addiction or workaholism?
I work with a lot of men in my coaching practice. I work with many women as well, but it seems that men find coaching because they do not have the same support networks that women have.
A common scenario is when a man in his late 40s or early 50s comes to coaching because he wants better relationships with his family and spouse. He has spent his life climbing the ladder and getting all the things he thought would make him feel powerful.
The problem is, when he reaches the top, he feels even more lonely and powerless than when he started climbing.
He thought he wanted more money, more recognition, and more status. But now he is feeling disconnected from his family and the people who mean the most to him.
He thinks that he needs more time, so he asks me to coach him on getting better time management. He feels so disconnected that he believes it’s just a problem with juggling too many things in too few hours.
But that’s not the real problem.
He thinks his problem is a time management issue.
And you may think it’s a priority issue. “He prioritized his work over his family so of course he feels disconnected from them.”
But even this is not the real problem.
The real problem is that he is disconnected from his internal power.
He spent his whole life chasing external things that he thought would make him feel powerful.
A better position.
More money.
A bigger house.
More kids.
A better car.
Better vacations.
But he still feels small. And now his family feels distant. And he still feels like he isn’t enough so he can’t figure out what to chase next.
He never felt good enough or powerful enough, so he hustled and chased to fill up on things that were supposed to give him power.
But his power was within him all this time and he didn’t realize it.
But now he has health problems, a pending divorce, and kids that are a little bit mad at him but he’s not sure why.
The only real solution is to find out who he really is and realign that power from the inside.
And then he can slow down with work, take care of his emotional, spiritual, mental and physical health, and repair his relationships.