9 Ways to Bring More Clarity to Your Life
I believe that life is a spiritual journey, and always brings us the lessons we need to learn for our growth.
If you are feeling a lack of clarity in your life, it’s possible that you are being unclear in some ways as well. Here are 9 ways to bring clarity into your life.
9 Ways to Bring Clarity into Your Life
1. Stop doubting yourself.
Your intuition always knows the truth, but sometimes it is hard to listen to it. There are lots of reasons for ignoring your intuition, but it always knows the truth. Let yourself listen to your intuition and learn to stop doubting yourself.
For example, let’s say you are in a relationship with someone, and something feels off. You want to ask questions but are afraid it could lead to conflict. Your intuition is nudging you to explore an area, but you are afraid of what you may uncover so you end up feeling unclear and doubting yourself. Always seek the truth.
2. Stick with the facts.
When you are interacting with others and feel that something is unclear or you don’t know how to communicate what you are thinking and feeling, start with the facts and don’t make it personal.
For example, let’s say you have a new job, and you are learning a completely new program. You may want your manager and coworkers to see you as capable and confident, especially in the early phases. But if something is unclear, ask questions based on the facts and details that are unclear. Facts are always clear.
3. Tell the truth: to yourself and others.
Are there areas in your life where you are not telling the truth to others? Why are you afraid to tell them the truth?
Are you afraid to tell yourself the truth in some areas?
4. In what ways are you being unclear to others?
Here are some ways that you may be unintentionally being unclear to others:
Saying yes when you’d rather say no
Not asking questions when you aren’t sure about something
Making assumptions
Assuming others know what you are thinking
Assuming others understand you
People pleasing
5. Declutter what’s not working.
Decluttering is one of my favorite ways to find clarity. You can start by decluttering your physical spaces. Get rid of anything that you no longer need, use, love or want. Give it to someone who can put it to good use.
Declutter your calendar by canceling events that are not aligned with your best interests.
If something is not working for you, ask yourself what you can let go of. It could be a job, a relationship, or a habit. It could even be a thinking habit or belief that does not serve you.
6. Create clear agreements.
Most people do not create clear agreements. Usually, there are expectations that are unspoken.
Steve Chandler talks about this distinction, Expectations vs. Agreements in his books and programs.
Expectations are thoughts each person has about a situation while agreements are expectations that have been talked about and agreed upon together.
The problem with expectations this is that two people can both have expectations for a situation that are not the same, and they are just assuming that they are both on the same page.
Agreements are clear. An agreement is a conversation that clarifies the expectations of both sides and makes sure that both parties are clear and understanding the agreed upon expectations.
7. Remember that clear is kind.
If you don’t understand something, it is kind to ask questions for clarity. This is kind.
If you are in charge of something, it is your responsibility to be clear. This is kind.
When I was a third-grade teacher, I had to be extremely clear. This meant that on the first day of school and the first weeks of school, I had to very clearly explain the rules and procedures of the classroom and why they were important to us all, and the consequences of not following the procedures and rules.
The rules and procedures may have seemed very strict and not necessarily nice. But they were actually kind because everyone knew exactly what was expected. Everyone felt safe because the directions were crystal clear and there was zero confusion.
In chaotic classrooms, the students had not been given this kind of clarity. They may have been given some rules and procedures, but not enough time to properly understand them clearly. These classrooms were unsafe and felt unkind.
On the flip side of this, if I were in a situation where I was not given clear directions, it would be my responsibility to ask the questions and get the facts. I need to know so that I feel clear and safe and sure.
8. People pleasing is a form of manipulation and control.
“Nice” people can be unclear and unkind. It’s a stress response for feeling like you can’t tell the truth. There may have been some situations in the “nice” person’s life where it wasn’t safe to speak the truth, so they have developed a habit of being “nice.”
And sometimes you can be nice and kind, but there is a difference. Nice is often a way to hide the truth.
If you are being “nice” to spare someone’s feelings, you may unintentionally be unkind and unclear. Look at areas where you are being nice, and ask yourself why you can’t be more direct, stick with the facts, and tell the truth.
9. Energy speaks louder than words.
Make sure your words align with your energy and actions.
Where are your actions and words misaligned? Are there areas where you are saying one thing and then doing the opposite? If you are doing this, you may be unclear.
Are there people in your life who are saying one thing and then doing something that is the opposite? If so, listen to their actions, not their words.
An example of this would be if a friend keeps canceling plans with you at the last minute. They say they want to meet for lunch but each time you try to schedule, they have something come up. Their actions are clear. Their words are creating confusion.
Or maybe there is a situation where you don’t want to say no to an invitation, so you delay, avoid, or say yes but then cancel at the last minute. This is being unclear and may invite confusion into your life and relationships.
Life has a way of mirroring back to us how we are being. So, if you are experiencing a lack of clarity in your life, the best way to find clarity is to start by bringing the clarity you want.