Overcoming Loneliness in Leadership
It has taken you a lifetime to get here. You are at the top of the mountain.
You’ve struggled as you climbed. You’ve faced rejection, heartbreak, and sacrifice as you’ve kept your eye on the prize.
Now you are at the top of your game. You are the most respected, most revered, and you are untouchable.
Everyone listens to you. They might talk about you behind your back, which hurts your feelings a little bit.
But maybe they are just trying to be respectful. Afterall, you are a bit untouchable. That’s what happens when you are in the position you are in.
You have sacrificed to get here. You sacrificed your health at times, your sleep, your relationships and mostly your time.
What’s next for you? You try to ignore the whispers that say, “Is this it? Is this all there is? Something is missing.”
You can’t place your finger on it exactly, but it feels like something you haven’t felt since you were a child. That carefree joy and freedom that lets you breathe without having to be doing and striving and impressing all the time. Where did that go?
You take a vacation, but it’s not the same. You always have to get back to the identity that you cultivated. You are glued to it. There are no real breaks from your respected persona.
Sometimes you feel like you are two people.
Maybe your personal relationships are crumbling? They have to look perfect from the outside but on the inside, they might feel a little hollow.
And sometimes your health gets neglected. There isn’t time for everything, but there’s not always time for taking care of your body. You tell yourself you’ll get around to it. You’ll try to fit it in.
Wasn’t being at the top supposed to make you happy? Why is it that now you feel a little lost? You followed the plan but now you aren’t quite sure who you are or where you’re going.
It all looks perfect on the outside. But on the inside, you feel like you may have lost yourself in the process.
Why does it often feel “lonely at the top?”
7 Common Reasons You May Feel “Lonely at the Top” as a Leader
1. The Pressure of High Expectations
2. Over-Responsibility
3. Constant Need to Impress vs. Be Human
4. People are afraid to tell you the truth
5. Imposter Syndrome: It’s hard to constantly keep up with an image and identity without ignoring who you are inside.
6. Lack of Genuine Connections
7. Work Life Imbalance
There’s only one real problem, and one real solution when it comes to feeling lonely at the top.
The real problem: You’ve disconnected from your inner self, or maybe you never had the time to fully explore your inner self.
What is your life all about? What is most important to you?
What would be your biggest regret if you looked back on your life at age 90?
What dreams are inside of you that you are pushing away or neglecting?
The only solution to feeling lonely at the top (or along the journey) is to get in alignment with your true self.
And how do you do that?
3 Simple Ways to Get in Alignment with Your True Self
1. Journaling
Journaling can be hard because you may not find it easy to let your words flow onto paper. I have found that it works well to start with writing as soon as you wake up in the morning, without any agenda. Just write what is on your mind. Even if you start with writing one sentence, it will start to flow if you keep doing it daily.
2. Coaching
Finding the right coach can be life changing. There are many coaches out there and finding the right one can be a process. The first step is deciding that you want to have an exploration partner who will go with you inside your mind and heart, shining the light on all the areas that you may have forgotten about.
3. Commit to taking care of your health and happiness: mind, body and soul.
Making the commitment to take care of yourself and prioritize your wellbeing is the only way to align your outer success with your inner world. Once you decide to commit, the rest is easy.
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