How to Know if You’re Living a “Default” Life
How to Know If You’re Living a “Default” Life: And what to do about it.
Many women live a default life without realizing it. What does this mean?
A default life is a life that:
1. Looks good on paper but feels a little off
A life that looks good on paper is one that isn’t really chosen 100% because you may not have realized you had other choices. Here are some clues you may have not fully chosen your decisions:
You made or still make decisions based on what you “should do” vs what you really want to do. Maybe you’ve chosen a career path based on what was most sensible or would make the most money.
2. You always do what you “should” do, even if it’s not what you want.
What does this look like?
It might look like not even knowing what you really want, because you haven’t let yourself think about it enough to know.
Or it could look like asking others for advice when you are at a decision point, instead of asking yourself what you really want.
3. You avoid conflicts to keep the “peace”
What does this look like?
When someone says something you disagree with you stay quiet. You comply or become overly agreeable just to not “rock the boat.”
This might be such a default pattern that when you do speak up, others think something is wrong.
4. You spend a lot of your time “getting through” instead of being present in each moment.
What does this look like?
Maybe you find yourself filled with dread when you look a your calendar for the day, or you’re always looking at the clock during “boring” meetings, wishing the time would go faster so you can end the day.
It might look like being super busy, but busy doing things you don’t really enjoy.
So now what? What if you’ve figured out you’ve been living a default life?
You can start today to start choosing your future. You can create the life you really want.
Here are some steps to get you started:
Make a list of all the things that take up your time that you’d like to stop doing.
Start spending time in silence, alone. This is very important and the first step in reconnecting with yourself.
If you need some help, reach out to me for a consultation and we can create your chosen future together. Book a consultation here.