How to Get Unstuck by Asking for Help
Sometimes asking for help is hard, but it is essential if you want to grow and get unstuck.
I have found that one of the most common obstacles my clients face is not asking for help when they need it.
Asking for help can be uncomfortable, especially when you are used to be in charge. Maybe you are the go-to person for everyone in your world?
When you are a leader, it is especially hard to ask for help? Why is this?
It is uncomfortable because it feels unfamiliar when you are the “helper.”
But as humans, the only way we can grow is with help from others. And I have found that the stronger you are, the harder it is to ask for and receive help when you need it.
Yesterday I went to the hair salon, and as I was walking towards the door, I noticed that a frail, elderly man who was probably in his 90s was heading towards the same entrance. I could tell that by the way he was hurrying towards the door, he wanted to open it for me.
I have always been a person who likes to open doors for others and help other people in any way I can. It makes me happy to do so.
But the flip side of this is that I sometimes feel uncomfortable accepting help from others. I realized that this is denying other people the joy of helping me.
So when I noticed the man hurrying toward the door, I realized it was an opportunity to allow him to be kind to a stranger. I smiled and said, “thank you,” and walked through the door ahead of him.
I could tell it made him very happy, so why would I have rushed to open it for him instead?
If you are a leader, you probably love to help others. You love leading and serving. But do you also love receiving?
Giving and receiving are equally important in life. So if you are stuck, spreading yourself too thin, or find yourself always being the one to give your help and support, you may be causing yourself unnecessary stress. And why deny others the joy of lending a helping hand?
The man who opened the door for me was smiling and happy the entire time as we waited in the salon waiting area. When my name was called, I smiled as I walked past him and he beamed with joy.
Here are 3 ways you may be blocking your flow and staying stuck by not asking for or accepting help:
1.You refuse to delegate.
Learning to delegate is learning how to give up control. When you feel the need to control every aspect of a task, you squeeze it too tightly and this stops growth from happening.
I have worked with countless business owners who refuse to delegate, and this pushes them into burnout, causing their business to crumble. The end up losing money, clients and precious time because they are afraid to delegate and loosen their grip on control.
2. You refuse to ask for help when you have a problem.
Many leaders and helpers thrive on helping others but feel too embarrassed to ask for help in solving their own problems. Why is this?
I think that at times we want to impress others and appear to be perfect, problem-less humans. Maybe you are afraid that others won’t see you as a credible expert if you need help?
But we are all humans, and we all have problems. And we all need help at times in solving them. Let others help you. And lead the way by example of how leaders accept help to solve problems. No person can do it all alone.
3. You feel uncomfortable accepting help
If you don’t ask for help when you need it, life has a way of putting you in a situation where you may be forced to accept help.
Have you ever forgotten your wallet and had to accept help from a kind stranger?
Or maybe you’ve been in debt and had to ask someone for a loan?
It can feel embarrassing and uncomfortable, but this is just pain for your ego.
These are just two examples of ways it can feel uncomfortable to accept help. But the truth is, the more you learn to receive help and know that it is good to accept it, the more you’ll be able to give, receive and grow. It’s all part of the flow of life.
I have found that sometimes clients avoid signing up for coaching because they think they should be able to do it all by themselves, or that they aren’t worth the investment. But the truth is, the sooner they get the help they need, the stronger they are and the more they can help others.
We are all humans, and we all need help at times. One of the most powerful things you can do is learn to accept help from others when you need it, and then pay it forward as you help others.
What are some ways you can let others help you? Practice receiving the help you deserve.