How to Free Yourself from Imposter Syndrome

Many high achievers secretly believe they suffer from imposter syndrome.

But what is imposter syndrome? How do you know if you have it? And how can you free yourself from it forever?

The clients I work with are high-achieving, successful people. And many of them struggle with something they call imposter syndrome. What is imposter syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is the belief that you are somehow lying about who you are and being qualified to be in the position you are in.

Whether you are the leader of a company or the parent of a small child, imposter syndrome can creep into your mind and try to tell you things like, “Who am I to _______  fill in the blank with (lead this company, be the principal of this school, parent this child, start this business, write this book, ask for this salary, etc.).”

You know that you have imposter syndrome if you feel the need to hide your “imperfections” or vulnerabilities. Here are some ways it may show up:

• You want the world to see only the airbrushed perfection of your life or business.

• You feel you need to prove yourself by hustling, “looking the part,” and impressing others.

• You secretly feel like you haven’t accomplished enough to be in the position you are in/leading others to do.

Imposter syndrome shows up when you fear that other people may try to tell you that you aren’t qualified to be where you are. And because of this, you over hide any possible vulnerabilities that make you human.

The irony in this is that those human qualities are what connect us to others, and when you feel like you have to hide them, it creates a barrier of disconnection with others. And this is the imposter syndrome blocking you from your own greatness.

But the good news is that imposter syndrome isn’t real.

Imposter syndrome is a lie.

The root of imposter syndrome comes from being attached to the false belief of “not-enoughness.”

I first read about this “attachment” in Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr.’s book Mastery of Self. He talks about how we are all born perfect, but the world conditions us to attach to certain beliefs. The beliefs aren’t real, but they feel real and so we believe in them.

One of the most common attachments is to the belief that we are somehow “not-enough.” It is the most common attachment problem that I see as a coach. And when we are attached to this lie of not being enough, every rejection, failure, mistake, or “no” that we get confirms our belief in this not-enoughness. This is the fuel for imposter syndrome.

Until, one day you realize that it isn’t true.

You are enough. You’ve always been enough. Who you are is greatness.

It’s just the attachment to not-enoughness that has been clouding your magnificence.

When you are attached to this not enoughness, you will confuse inexperience with imposter syndrome. And instead of stretching, growing and opening yourself to learn more about what you don’t yet know, you will shut down and freeze, attaching to the false belief of not enoughness.

This would be like the new principal of a school that tries to keep a tough exterior with the teachers and students instead of connecting with them.

Or it might look like a manager of a team who feels overwhelmed and needs support, but instead of asking for it, makes himself unapproachable as a way to hide their perceived flaws.

Imposter syndrome feels like needing to impress others, so you can hide behind an image of perfection, instead of simply connecting and opening yourself to learning as much as you can about yourself and others.

But the truth is, we can all choose either imposter syndrome or being open to learning. We can lean in to being enough as we are and embrace the learning process to grow and lead and connect every step of the way.

To work with me, book a consultation here.