The 4 Phases of Feeling Stuck

I’ve felt stuck multiple times in my life. One of the most “stuck” times in my life was when I was trying to leave a career that I had outgrow.

And every day I work with people who are navigating some level of feeling stuck and I think it comes down to 4 phases. Here’s what I’ve found to be the four different phases of stuckness. 

If you can get to phase 4, you’ll get unstuck no matter what.

Phase 1: You know you want something different than your current situation but you have no idea what it would be.

Example:

• You feel miserable in a job or career but you have no idea what you’d rather do instead.

If you are in this phase, getting coaching works really well because it’s all about exploring your possibilities and dreams. 

Phase 2: You know what you want but some part of you doesn’t think it’s really possible.

Examples: 

• You want true love but are afraid it’s impossible to meet the right person.

• You want to start a business but can’t see how you’d really make it happen.

Coaching works really well in this phase (and all phases) because you can start exploring your “wall of limitations” that exists inside your mind and then explore ways to cross over it.

Phase 3: You dip your toe in the water 

In this phase, you start believing what you want might be possible, but you stop and start. You timidly take a step toward it but any time you reach a set back you get discouraged and stop, and go back to feeling stuck again.

Examples:

• The person who wants true love goes on a few dates but they are disappointed or uncomfortable so they take a break until they feel more “ready.”

• The person who wants to start a business sets up a website and starts taking a few steps in the right direction but the first few rejections or missed sales feel so painful that they retreat back into the stuck zone, thinking they just “aren’t good at sales.”

Coaching works well in this phase because you can explore what is causing you to retreat and lose belief when you face setbacks and rejections, plus the ways to practice the skills you need to learn to get what you want.

Phase 4: You Decide to Commit 

Here’s where you finally get unstuck and build momentum by deciding you are all in and committed to doing whatever it takes.

In this phase you decide you’d rather feel the uncomfortable feelings that come with figuring it out and phasing your fears rather than having to endure the feelings of stuckness and hopelessness any longer.

You focus on being all in, no matter what.

Examples:

• The person who wants true love decides to learn to have fun in the dating process no matter what. 

• The person who wants to start a business commits to learning the skill of sales and to learning to love the sales process.

Coaching works really well in this phase too, because you’ll have someone with you as you learn new skills and face the challenges that used to hold you back. Also, you’ll have someone to celebrate with.

Those are the four phases that I see most. If you’d like my help with any of these four phases of stuckness, the first step would be to set up a consultation where we will look at every area of your life and all the areas where you feel stuck, and what you would like your life to be like instead. Then we make a custom plan for you to make it happen. And if you love the plan, we would talk more about what working together would look like.

The consultation takes 60 minutes and is a great way for you to get the customized plan, whether or not we decide to work together. You can book a consultation here.