Three Common Lies that May be Holding You Back

Three Common Lies that May be Holding You Back

Welcome to episode three of Brighten your Way podcast with me, christina Renzelli, your host. My intention for this podcast is to share what I've learned from being a life coach and from my own personal experiences with life and personal development, and just from being a human in the world, and I hope that sharing what I've learned and what I'm still learning can shed some light on some areas of life that we all tend to experience and struggle with from time to time. So today I wanted to share the three lies that may be holding you back. They're common and I've experienced them personally and I've also explored them with many of my clients, my life coaching clients. I think the key that I want to share and shed light on with this podcast is that when we're struggling, we think we're the only person struggling with a particular feeling or belief, but in reality, most people tell themselves these three lies at some point in life, and I'm here to help you, unhide and unshame, so you can free yourself from the lies that may be holding you back. So here's the first one.

The first one is the lie of not enoughness. As humans, we tend to have this fear and this attachment to not enoughness. It starts usually somewhere in childhood where we internalize a message that told us we weren't enough in some way. Maybe there are some people who have never struggled with this but I've never met them or maybe they're not telling the complete truth. But the attachment to not enoughness tends to run behind the scenes in many of our lives. It could look like being afraid to put yourself out there when it comes to personal relationships because you don't want to risk being rejected. Or it could look like a heartbreak that never heals. It could also look like being afraid to pitch yourself or your business that you created, because what if nobody wants it? It could be feeling rejected when you don't get the job that you wanted it could. You would feel, oh well, I wasn't enough for that. Um, it can get triggered at that point.

At the root of these scenarios is this not enoughness lie, and I'm here to tell you that. Wherever it came from or how it shows up in your life, I don't know, but I think if you dig deeply enough, you may find at the root of your struggle to whatever you're struggling with today, there is this attachment to not enoughness. It's very common. It can also show up as scarcity or there's not enough, there's lack, so maybe you're always in a hurry, or there's never enough. There's lack, so maybe you're always in a hurry or there's never enough time, or maybe you're often in debt so you don't believe there's enough money. So, whatever it might show up as you're believing there's not enough or maybe you're not enough, it might look like the need to compete for something, but if you feel like you're always chasing, or always frantic or worrying about needing more you need something outside of yourself then this not enoughness lie might be holding you back in some ways.

Okay, the next one, number two, is this is a lie I've seen so many of us believe, and the belief is that what other people think is more important than what we think. I sometimes call this outsourcing. How many times have you not taken a risk or done something that you really wanted to do because you thought what will other people think? This thought is running in the background for so many of us Until you realize it's there. It might hold you back. It doesn't just work in the negative, though. Sometimes, if we chase approval and acceptance from others to boost our confidence and self-esteem, then we think, okay, great, okay, that's great. Someone else liked what I've done or likes me. But that's also kind of a form of outsourcing, because we're letting what other people think be more important than what we think of ourselves. Of course it's good to accept a compliment, but don't let your confidence rely on other people's compliments. Okay so number three on other people's compliments. Okay so number three.

The number three lie is discomfort means something is wrong and we all tend to tell ourself to avoid discomfort. It's how we're wired. Our brain tells us there's something dangerous ahead, so we should just avoid it. It's something that we might not be able to survive, but in reality, discomfort and uncertainty we can survive. That it's just an uncomfortable feeling, but we avoid feeling discomfort. So maybe let's use the example of writer's block. Maybe you have a dream to write a book, but every time you start writing you get a case of writer's block.

This could be a sign that you're avoiding discomfort. If it's something you've never done before, it's going to be uncomfortable because you will have to feel feelings that come with trying something new, and those feelings might accidentally activate that not enoughness lie that I mentioned before. If you've ever tried to create something new that other people will see, you will have to feel this feeling, you will have to feel discomfort, and what most of us do is we avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings. Is we avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings? So, instead of just letting ourselves feel embarrassed and just sitting with that embarrassment, we avoid doing things that make us feel embarrassed. Well, what this does is it creates a box around yourself, that comfort zone that you can never really get past, and you think you're stuck, but what you really are is avoiding the feelings of discomfort that will get you beyond that box.

So these are three lies that so many of us have accidentally told ourselves, and what I hope for you is that now you know about them, you can be slightly more aware of them and when they come up for you, you can be more aware and pause and challenge them so they don't get in the way of the life you want to create for yourself. So don't let that comfort zone box stop you. Just feel the feelings and break through. So thank you for listening. This is Christina Renzelli signing off for today's episode. Join me next time as I talk more about what I've learned from being the feelings and break through. So thank you for listening. This is Christina Renzelli signing off for today's episode. Join me next time as I talk more about what I've learned from being a life coach and a human in the world.